Dear Dr. Behavior-- Attending the homecoming festivities at good old Vodka State University really took me back to those collegiate glory days-- the parties, the Hustle, the Bee-Gee's, and CHiPS (A badly acted TV drama from the 60's about the California Highway Patrol [CHP=CHiPs]) all came together to make my six years as an undergraduate at VSU a truly special time. Reflecting on life in my fraternity made me wonder about some of the stupid things we did. Freshman year was a tough time. Some of the geeks on my floor refused to rush because they thought that they would be humiliated by the upperclassmen's initiation techniques. A few others went but soon took off after the hazing began. Not me-- I saw my older brother party his way through college as a Catcha Hi (the name of our frat.) and I knew it was worth the initiation ritual to get in.
Still, I feel like puking every time I think of HELL WEEK. As soon as we got to the initiation party, all of the freshmen had to chug as many goldfish as we could while the upperclassmen sang the VSU fight song. When the singing was over, the kid who swallowed the most fish was immediately accepted into the fraternity while everyone else had to go through the rest of the initiation ritual to see if they got in.
Once you were in, though, it was worth it. We had the greatest parties every Thursday night. Starting at 10:00 p.m., we would play Trivial Pursuit-- the Frat version. We had this guy in the frat, Marty, who looked and sounded just like Pat Sajak. He was really into calling the game. His girl friend looked kinda like Vanna White, and she would vamp as she moved the player's markers around the board. It was a gas. Marty would ask the questions, and if you were the first to answer it correctly, you got to designate someone to chug a beer, roll a die, and move your player the number of spaces on the die. However, if you gave a wrong answer, you had to swallow a goldfish. If you won the game, you didn't have to do any household chores one day during the next week. If you won the most games that evening, you didn't have any household chores for the week. Everyone got into Trivial Pursuit on Thursdays except Frederick. He was from Edina, filthy rich, and just hired some lowly Freshman to do his chores. Back then, I couldn't explain my behavior to my parents, and I still can't. What's going on here, Dr. Behavior? ---Frankie Frat Brat
When you have worked through the case, click here to see some things that I saw.